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Justine Delarge ([personal profile] justinedelarge) wrote2013-08-03 05:46 pm
Entry tags:

Sure Got a Dirty Mouth Chapter 68: In Front of God

Title: Sure Got a Dirty Mouth Chapter 68: In Front of God
Author: [livejournal.com profile] justinedelarge
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Warning: Wincest,
Word Count: 3200
Disclaimer: I don't own what I don't own. But I do own what I do own, such as my original characters and my plot.
Summary: Sam and Dean finally discover that Bobby knows the truth about them.
Master post of all chapters here

After a couple hours on the recliner, snoring like a brigadier general with a head cold, Bobby snorted himself awake. "Get the shotgun."

Reggie peered over the top of the book. "You expecting company?"

Bobby wiped his mouth, blinking rapidly.

"Who's the President of the United States?" Reggie set the book down.

"Bill Clinton."

"I'm calling it. You do not have a concussion."

"Hear from the boys?"

"Yep. I said I'd come get them when you were ready." He nodded toward the wall. "And our hosts brought you something." A pair of crutches leaned against the wall.

"That'll make moving around a whole lot easier." Reggie brought him the crutches and helped Bobby to stand. He hooked the crutches under his arms and stabilized himself. He stood for a moment, finding his balance. "I gotta take a leak."

"Good for you." Reggie chewed his toothpick.

Bobby crutched his way down to the bathroom. Reggie poured himself another shot of whisky. There was a giant elephant in the room wearing a banner that said "Sam and Dean are having sex" and he knew in the next fifteen minutes, one of the four of them was going to point it out in front of everybody. It was inevitable. He needed liquid courage to get through the skin-crawling anxiety between this moment and that.

Bobby came back into the living room. "Shall we?"

"Gonna tell me your plan?"

Bobby looked at Reggie.

"Do you have a plan?"

"I gotta tell 'em I know."

"That would ease their minds plenty. Did you see Sam?"

Bobby frowned.

"Back there." Reggie's head jerked toward the common room. "When he had to put on an act in front of you. He got weaker."

Bobby took a breath, nodding.

"Now, I told you real plain Sam and Dean needed to be together right now, and not have to hide. I've been watching them. How they are. And they make each other stronger. So you came here because you needed to. I get that. But if you aren't man enough to start that conversation and tell them you know, so they have their minds at ease, then you don't belong here." Reggie leaned closer. "You and me know Sam's under the crosshairs here, and we're starting to piece together the whys and wherefores. He's not gonna get out from under this without Dean, and Dean damn well can't make it without Sam."

"I'll tell them." Bobby shook his head. "I don't know how in the hell to bring it up. But I'll do it."

There was a knock at the door.

Dean jumped. Sam inhaled, a quiet, scared sound. Dean leaned into Sam, pressing him against the back of the couch, and kissed him, slow and sweet. He turned his head toward the door. "Coming!" He brought his lips to the sensitive spot on Sam's neck right behind his left ear. "I love you, Sammy." His mouth brushed Sam's skin. "Do anything for you."

Sam looked at him, the joy in his eyes warring with the dread of seeing Bobby, of having to maintain.

Dean opened the door. Reggie was there. "He's up."

"Come on, Sam."

They walked down the hall to where Reggie was staying. His jaw muscles fluttered at the sight of Bobby standing in the living room leaning on his crutches.

"Come on in." They entered. Dean gave Bobby an awkward hug. Bobby's forehead was damp with sweat.

Sam hugged Bobby next, threading his arms around the crutches. "How are you?"

"I banged my knee on the dash pretty good, but it looks like I got lucky. No broken bones."

Dean looked about as cheerful as if he were looking down the barrel of a gun.

"How was the drive?" Sam winced as soon as the words left his mouth, so mundane and out of place.

"Eventful." Bobby sat down on the recliner and filled them in on the details, of how his distributor cap went missing, then the slashed tires. Sam grew increasingly agitated at the tale of Bobby being systematically interfered with and discouraged from continuing toward where they had taken shelter.

"Now I don't know how to explain this next part, so I'm just going to tell it how it happened." Bobby related the events at the gas station, leaving out the message the angel had given him for the moment.

"What the hell?" Dean stood up and began to pace. "Play for another team? What-angels?" He paced some more. "There's no such thing."

Sam looked up at Dean, eyes wide, a frantic flutter of hope within them. "But the lore."

"You ever seen an angel?" Dean whipped his head around to Reggie. "Know anyone credible who's seen an angel?"

Bobby closed his eyes, remembering the image he'd seen in his rear view as he drove away from the burning gas station. What he'd seen but not been able to absorb, or even think about until that moment. The sight of the young man standing in the road, great white wings unfurled behind him, facing the roiling flames.

"Yes." Bobby said. "Me."

Dean turned slowly to face Bobby, examining his face carefully. "You aren't fucking with us."

"I wouldn't do that. Not about something as serious as this."

"An angel."

"Yep."

"Wings?" Dean asked.

"Yes."

"You're positive."

"Look, kid, I've seen just about every type of supernatural creature we have running around this planet. I've never seen that before."

The muscles in Dean's jaw worked, as he bit down on the words that wanted to come screaming out of his mouth. He took a few deep breaths, regaining control. "Mom used to say there were angels watching over us. All the time. That was the last thing she ever said to me. So where were they then, huh?" His voice got louder. "If they're real why didn't they help her?"

Bobby closed his eyes. "I don't know. But this…this angel, he said he'd do as much as he was allowed to, to help me get to you. So I guess there are rules."

Dean shook his head, backing up a step. "Don't ask me to believe that. Just—don't. I can't."

Sam reached out to touch Dean, but snatched his hand back, gaze darting to Bobby.

Dean noticed, and his expression hardened."All we have—all we can really count on—is each other. Me and Sam. That's what it comes down to. There's no higher power keeping an eye out for us. No benevolent father in the sky with a plan for all of us. There's just evil, random fucking evil, and good people trying to do the right thing and make it through. Right?"

Reggie took the toothpick out of his mouth. "If there are demons… it stands to reason there are angels too."

Dean held up a finger to stop him. His hand trembled. "Believe all you want. I can't. I can't. All there is, all I believe in, is me and Sam." He took Sam's hand. Gently. Lovingly. "Right, Sammy?"

They looked at each other, everything else falling away. Dean's hand stopped shaking, drawing strength from touching Sam, from the look in Sam's eyes of perfect love and complete trust.

Sam's touch made Dean brave. He took a deep breath and turned his head toward Bobby, not letting go of Sam's hand. "You came all the way down here to back us up, for whatever's going down. You might have made that trip for nothing. Because there's something you need to know." His eyes snapped back to Sam. Giving him a chance to call him off.

Sam's gaze traveled over Dean's face, scared but determined, his green eyes lit up with love for Sam. His shoulders dropped, eyes closing like a terrible burden was being lifted from him. He opened his eyes, and rose to his feet before Dean. He gave him a little nod, and clasped his other hand over their entwined hands. Dean did the same. They gripped each other's hands tightly, like they were about to jump off a cliff.

"Dean—" Bobby started to speak, but Dean interrupted him.

"All you've done for us. We can never thank you enough. Never. We love you." Dean's voice choked up. He kept his eyes locked on Sam, hands sealed over his, the connection between them so bright the air around them felt warmer. "But me and Sam…me and Sam…you're gonna hate us now, and, and, I get that, but we can't go back, alright, we can't keep pretending, it's too important... "

"Listen, I—" Bobby tried again.

Dean straightened up, head held high, and looked Bobby straight in the eye. "We're in love with each other."

The air turned electric.

Dean made a subtle shift, angling his body between Sam and Bobby. To take the first blow if it came. "Go ahead and say it. You hate us. Never want to see our faces again." He looked up at the ceiling, tears streaking down his cheeks. "But don't say we're disgusting because we're not, it's not, we love each other and it's real, it's good…"

"Idjits." Bobby smiled through his own tears. "I've known about you two for years."

Sam and Dean's mouths fell open. Reggie bent over, hands on his knees and whooshed out a huge breath.

Sam couldn't speak. Could barely breathe.

"…what?" Dean managed to squeak out.

"Son, I knew before either one of you did."

"…what?" Dean repeated himself.

Bobby heaved himself to his feet, ignoring the crutches. "I knew. I know."

Dean stammered, "You-you-you knew. And…" His mouth dropped open even wider, realization dawning, his secret suspicions finally being confirmed. "That's why you put the lock on our door."

Sam's brow furrowed. He hadn't suspected, had never even considered that Bobby might possibly know, might possibly be on their side about it. This realization was far more shocking to him than it was to Dean. "You did that? So…so…"

"So your dad wouldn't open the door on you. So you knew you had your own private space."

"You knew we were…" Sam couldn't say it. Having sex.

"Yeah."

"And you didn't…" Sam closed his eyes to shut away the thought of all the things Bobby didn't do. Hurl invectives at them. Tell John. Kick them out of his house. Take Sam away from Dean. Scream at Dean for molesting his little brother. When he opened his eyes again, they gleamed with tears. "You…helped us?" His voice cracked.

"I've been around for a long time. And I know what real honest-to-god true love looks like. And it's rare. Trust me. But what you two have? There's not a damn thing wrong with it." Bobby's face was strong, fierce. "Not a damn thing."

The sound Sam made was a cry of pain made by an animal as the jaws of the trap biting into its leg were released, setting it free.

He lunged for Bobby, and wrapped his arms around him. Bobby put his big, beefy arms around Sam and held him, leaning on him for support. "It's ok, Sam. It's ok."

Sam cried a lot. But he'd never cried like this. Sobs wracked his body, cries of emotional release at being shown understanding and acceptance when all he had the right to expect was disgust, anger and a punch to the face. Each sob was a wail ripped out of him, his body shaking violently.

Dean came to Sam, put his arms around him, stroking his hair to calm him. Bobby shifted so he was holding both of them. Dean was more stoic when it came to crying, usually simply standing stock-still while a single, perfect tear rolled down his cheek, but not now. He dissolved into tears as Bobby put his arm around him and said, "It's ok, Dean. I love you. Both of you."

Bobby held his boys, letting them cry, not shushing them or telling them to stop. "I'll never turn my back on you. Either of you. You always have a home with me. No matter what. Got that?" They cried harder, clinging to him like a life raft.

Reggie was full-blooded American, but he knew a moment requiring tea as well as a British person. He quietly backed out of the living room and put the tea kettle on.

~

Bobby ignored the pain in his knee, and held his boys, murmuring words of reassurance and love. The scream of the tea kettle at full boil broke the moment. Bobby's face was white from standing so long, putting weight on his leg. Dean nudged Sam, who opened tear-swollen eyes and gasped at the sight of Bobby's face. They helped him sit down, and sat down on the couch.

Dean took Sam's hand. They watched Bobby's reaction, still wary. He smiled at them.

They breathed out in unison. Dean's gaze lingered on the recliner, tumblers clicking in his head. "You did that on purpose too. That two-person recliner. When Sam was hurt. So we didn't have to sleep apart from each other."

Bobby nodded.

Sam's face contorted, taking in this new piece of information, this unimaginable act of kindness and acceptance. Then it twisted to an expression of pure horror. "Dad doesn't know, right?"

"Oh god," Dean said.

"No. Of course not. He… no. He couldn't handle that." Bobby shook his head vigorously.

Dean raised his finger like he was about to say something. He closed his mouth, dropped his hand and shook his head. Then he spoke. "Don't get me wrong. I'm really glad you're ok with this. But…how come you're ok with this?"

"Did you know in Japan, incest isn't a crime?"

Sam and Dean shook their heads no.

"The only taboo is if a girl gets pregnant. But even that, the whole inbreeding thing? That doesn't happen anywhere near as often as people believe. Besides, we let people that are carriers for all kinds of genetic diseases get married and have children. Anyway. That's not pertinent to you two."

Reggie came in with four mugs of black tea laced in the fingers of one hand, a box of sugar cubes balancing a carton of milk in the other.

Bobby continued. "In Egyptian royal families, brothers married sisters all the time. To preserve the bloodline. Incas did it. Hawaiians did it."

Dean stared at Bobby. Sam stirred sugar and milk in his tea, hanging on Bobby's every word.

"In Norse mythology, incest was legal among the Vanir. Greek mythology? Zeus and Hera were husband and wife and brother and sister. And this mythology influenced people. In the Greco-Roman census, one out of five marriages recorded were between brother and sister. Not just royal families. Regular folks." Bobby took a sip of tea. "It's even in the Bible. Genesis. Abraham and Sarah were half-siblings. In fact, all humanity is born of incest, if you think about it. Adam and Eve's kids were all siblings. So there's that." He added a splash of milk. "Freud said it's natural. There was this other famous psychologist, Melanie Klein, who said that sexual relations between siblings was practically the norm. Hell, Lloyd DeMause said it was universal. So actually, the only real taboo is saying that it's not really a taboo."

Sam and Dean sat on the couch, tea forgotten, stunned.

Bobby smiled sadly. "I knew we were going to have this discussion someday. I've been getting ready." He adjusted his leg, wincing. "So. No matter what people think, incest is not a universal taboo. Period. Not throughout the world, not throughout history. Now, parent/child stuff? That's different, and that's not what we're talking about here. That's a whole rat's nest of consent and power and control. And messing with little kids is wrong, period. But consensual sibling relations—and that's what we're talking about here—is actually a lot more common than people think. And it can be perfectly fine, even for regular people."

Bobby took another drink of tea and set his mug down. "But we aren't talking about regular people. We're talking about you two. Y'all don't live normal lives anyway. Not by half. If we're being honest, a lot of the rules that apply to regular people don't apply to hunters. And this thing between you two—it's special. I mean, really special. So even if the rest of that weren't true, it wouldn't matter anyway."

"Plus, the whole hunter thing," Reggie added, sitting next to Dean on the couch. "It's not as though it's easy to take up with a civilian and make it work. It's like being a cop or a firefighter, times a hundred. You're never home, you're out there putting your life at risk fighting evil to save people, probably gonna die bloody with a gun in your hand, you may well not be alive the next day… who in their right mind would sign up for that? The only chance a hunter has for a real partnership, where you're with someone every day and really share your lives? That's with another hunter."

Dean nodded. He may have been a few weeks away from turning 20, but he already knew, saw it in the lonely faces of the hunters that came and went. Some had kids but the wives were long gone, paired up with engineers and businessmen with retirement plans and reliable incomes, who didn't come home reeking of sulphur or babbling about ghouls' nests or devil's traps. Most kept themselves going with hunter honeys, and one-night-stands with people picked up in bars, diners or truck stops.

"So the fact that you two have each other? You're real lucky. And…"

Dean leaned forward. "What?"

"I know you hate talk like this, Dean, but I think all this is happening for a reason. I think you two are special, meant to be together." Bobby scratched the back of his neck. "Soulmates. And the fact that you were born as brothers, even though you're soulmates? I don't think that's a coincidence, or the fates being cruel sons of bitches." He paused. "And there's something else. The angel at the gas station? He told me to give you a message."

Dean pressed his hands against the top of his head, like he was approaching overload.

"He said, and this is a direct quote here, 'Tell them God sees where there is pure love, and that pure love bears no sin.'"

Sam started to tremble. He couldn't speak. Dean shook his head. "I…wait. What? You…an angel told you to tell us God says us being together is ok?"

"I am not making this shit up." Bobby shook his head solemnly. Dean was at a complete loss for words. Bobby turned to Sam. "And he had a message just for you, Sam."

Sam looked frightened. Dean put his arm around Sam and murmured, "I got you, Sammy."

"He said, 'Tell Sam that where there is pure love, corruption cannot remain.'"

Sam repeated it to himself softly. "What does that even mean?"

Bobby squinched his face up. "I have no idea. He was a cryptic little son-of-a-bitch."

Sam closed his eyes, a tear slipping out beneath his lashes.

"Sam?" Dean asked, his voice gentle.

The muscles in Sam's throat convulsed. "God says it's ok, Dean." He rested his head against Dean's shoulder. "He says we're ok."

And Dean tipped Sam’s head back and kissed him, pure and sweet, right there in front of God and everyone.

[identity profile] ayden-brooks.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
awwww!! i love the discussion with bobby. i am in tears here! omg. what a sweet, sweet scene. i'm so happy for the boys and bobby. :)

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it. I tried to do this moment justice. It's been a long time coming, in the story. I wanted to get it right.

[identity profile] ayden-brooks.livejournal.com 2013-08-08 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
You did a terrific job with this moment. I've been waiting for it! :)

[identity profile] sandycub.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
This was just perfect! I loved fierce protective Dean telling Bobby the truth before Bobby had a chance to tell them he already knew. That took so much strength! The whole scene was just so wonderful and heartfelt!

Thank you!

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
I was hoping someone would comment on Dean's bravery, telling Bobby for love of Sam. It was really important for a few different reasons for one of them to stand up and tell the truth to an important person. And it had to be Dean here.

Thank you for noticing this. That really means a lot to me.

[identity profile] masja-17.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 11:48 am (UTC)(link)
Yay! Two updates in one day! Lucky us! And loved this one with fierce, protective and brave Dean. He will just do anything for Sam.

And here is a clue: 'Tell Sam that where there is pure love, corruption cannot remain.' Of course Azazel's plans will go awry with a true, pure love like between Sam and Dean. Sam will never leave Dean and do evil, bad things. And Dean will always protect Sam even though he can protect himself.

But I'm scared what John will do when he finds them at the Sanctuary as he surely will. Wonder if the demons are going to try to stop him too?

<3

Edit: BTW the document for the pdf is now 202k words!

Edited 2013-08-04 11:56 (UTC)

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
200k words. That's crazy. This is a real book!

[identity profile] proffesorx.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
i cannot really express how much i'm loving this story. suffice it to say that when i go to read certain chapters on AO3, i end up reading the entire story over again - every. single. time.

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow--so you've probably found all the typos and errors from this entire thing being first draft, unbeta'd work. Eep!

Thank you. I'm so, so glad you like it so much and want to re-read it like this. (must finish that original novel and publish it, asap!)

[identity profile] masja-17.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Tell me when you'll be publishing it! (So I can buy it....)

<3


P.S. There aren't very many (if any) typos.....

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm pretty clean. I mean, I'm an editor in real life, so my writing comes out clean right from the start. But I almost always write SGaDM late at night and post it in the wee hours of the morning, so things do slip in. :)

[identity profile] imaginecoolname.livejournal.com 2013-08-04 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my God, this was such a wonderfully moving scene! The courage it must have taken Dean to just come out and say it, because he knew it hurt Sam too much to keep pretending - that just floored me. He didn't know how awesome and accepting Bobby would be, so they took such a risk.

I'm so happy it turned out to be a good thing, Bobby truly is such an amazing character. And what a relief it must be for them to know that God approves of their love as well. Hopefully Sam will also remember the angel's words about their love cleansing him to give him strength against Azazel.

Perfect chapter, I loved it so much!

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-07 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I could have sworn I replied to this, but I don't see it.

Thank you! I love Bobby. And with his approval, and God's, they finally have something to support them other than each other.

[identity profile] deansdirtybb.livejournal.com 2013-08-07 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
What a great couple of chapters! I love that Bobby loves and accepts them and makes it so very clear to them that he is fine with their relationship and the moment when Dean realizes how long Bobby has been helping them was just beautiful.

Also - you must be trying to kill me with the chocolate kisses. So yummy ;)

Thank you!

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-07 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Just wait until I get to the chapter I've already written in my head and titled I Want Candy. :)
Edited 2013-08-07 00:04 (UTC)

[identity profile] deansdirtybb.livejournal.com 2013-08-07 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
You clearly are trying to kill me. I should probably care more about dying than porns...

p.s. I keep forgetting to say something about this, but I LOVE that you worked the scar on Jensen's chin into this story with Sam's stitches. Sometimes you are simply too amazing for words!

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-07 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! I was really proud of that.

[identity profile] rianadrarrylove.livejournal.com 2013-08-07 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm late to the party! I was away and I really was hoping you had posted and you did and it was beautiful and perfect and so completely explains the non-taboo that is consensual incest...

I am, as usual, blown away by the sheer force that is SamandDean, one soul, one mind, two bodies, one blood. They're unstoppable and immovable and so purely in love it's just uGH it's just so good and I just love it so much!!!

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-07 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Seriously though, how can anyone not get Wincest? At least the way I write it? How can you NOT?

[identity profile] kinkajou.livejournal.com 2013-08-08 10:06 am (UTC)(link)
OMG, I almost missed this chapter, and it is THE BEST THING EVER! Bobby is awesome! <3<3 <3 <3

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-08-08 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh you can't miss this chapter! Too important.

[identity profile] fantasy719.livejournal.com 2013-09-10 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay..this is perfect. I follow you on tumblr(ilovethemoose)and I wish everyone on tumblr could read this chapter. I'm in tears right now...bye

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-09-10 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! What a fine idea.

[identity profile] deezy-y.livejournal.com 2013-11-27 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my, you had me crying. I LOVE Bobby in this. Talk about an absolutely amazing chapter...kudos!

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-11-27 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Good tears, I'm sure. I'm so happy.

[identity profile] deezy-y.livejournal.com 2013-11-27 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, they definitely were.
Yay! :)

[identity profile] alexisjane.livejournal.com 2013-12-08 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
\0/
I've been waiting for this moment, for Bobby to be awesome and you did not disappoint. There was actual cheering : ) Oh and so loved how Dean was going to fess up! Bless him.
And that last line, wowser! x

[identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com 2013-12-08 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I love that last line. I love Bobby. I love Dean's bravery and devotion.

I swear, the biggest fan of this story is me!