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Title: No, But Like...
Author: justinedelarge
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word Count: 280
Summary: Drabble. Crack. Ridiculousness. Sam and Dean get interrupted by vampires while having sex.
Warning: Wincest
Disclaimer: I don't own what I don't own.
Note: THIS IS A CRACK FICLET. Do not expect accurate monster-killing technique as set forth in the show. CRACK FICLET.  HUMOR. Plausible monster-dispatching methods are neither promised nor delivered.


No, but like, Sam and Dean doing their thing in a motel room, and Dean is balls deep in Sammy with Sam’s hands tied to the corners of the bed frame, and the door is kicked in and it’s frickin’ vampires come to take revenge on the Winchesters for taking out most of their nest, and Sam’s so startled he clamps down on Dean’s cock in his ass, and Dean, who was about to jump off, gives a squeak because he’s so startled by Sam’s ass-kung-fu-grip, and he falls back, and now Sam squeaks, because Dean’s dick pulled out of his ass at an awkward angle and stretched his rim in a shockingly painful way, and Dean’s fallen off the bed onto his back, buck naked, ass in the air, revealing the end of the big chrome plug Sam had worked up there before Dean tied him down, and Sam’s tugging to free himself, but he can’t, and he yells, “Dean!” and yanks furiously on his restraints, but all he does is pull the entire damn bed away from the wall, his giant cock bobbing with the effort.

And the two vamps fall over laughing, and laugh so hard tears of blood stream down their cheeks, laugh so hard the bigger one doesn’t even see Dean stalk toward them, strong thighs a few inches wider apart because of the thick base of the butt plug, in a sort of gay John Wayne swagger, and the other one sees and points at Dean and fucking HOWLS with laughter but by that time Dean’s staked the first one and has the stake plunging towards his heart. “Winchesters,” he wheezes, sick with laughter, and the stake drives home.

Date: 2014-04-21 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackrabbit42.livejournal.com
GAY JOHN WAYNE SWAGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole thing, tooooo funny, if I was a vamp, they could have ganked me too, because I'd be PISSING myself with laughter.

Genius.

:)

Date: 2014-04-21 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] masja-17.livejournal.com
ROTFLMAO!

Chrome butt plug?

Like I said before;You're AWESOME!!!

Date: 2014-04-21 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackrabbit42.livejournal.com
HEY!!! Don't mock the chrome butt plug!! I just wrote one into a fic the other day, and that shit is hot.

:p

Date: 2014-04-21 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com
Seriously hot. And yes, they do exist.

Date: 2014-04-21 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] masja-17.livejournal.com
I'm not mocking it. It IS hot! Like I said, awesome!

Date: 2014-04-21 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thestarkat.livejournal.com
Amazing visuals. <3

Date: 2014-04-21 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com
Thank you! I just wrote down exactly what popped into my mind. I guess I'm learning how to write really visual fics. I didn't used to be very good at that. Or plot. Or dialogue.

Date: 2014-04-21 11:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexisjane.livejournal.com
Love this!! Bizarrely hot and really funny.
And you know that Dean is just going to go right back and finish what he started! : )
Thank you! x

Date: 2014-04-21 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com
Hah! Yeah, he probably would.

Date: 2014-04-21 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imaginecoolname.livejournal.com
LMAO, that hilarious picture will be forever in my head now. *snickers* This was awesome, thank you for making me laugh!

Date: 2014-04-21 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com
Glad I was able to!

Date: 2014-04-21 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kinkajou.livejournal.com
LMAO :D *chokes with laughter*

Date: 2014-04-22 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] runedgirl.livejournal.com
Hahahahahaha omg thank you!

Date: 2014-04-22 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justinedelarge.livejournal.com
:) So glad you liked it!

Date: 2014-04-22 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rianadrarrylove.livejournal.com
Oh my god I can't stop laughing this was great!

Date: 2014-04-22 07:21 am (UTC)

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Justine Delarge

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