Sure Got a Dirty Mouth Chapter 76: Unclean

[justinedelarge]

Title: Sure Got a Dirty Mouth Chapter 76: Unclean
Author: justinedelarge
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Warning: Wincest
Spoilers: Seasons 1-5
Word Count: 5180
Disclaimer: I don't own what I don't own. But I do own what I do own, such as my original characters and my plot.
Summary: Danny and Juliane share an intimate moment. Sam struggles with the events of the day.
Master post of all chapters here

Juliane stood with her back to Danny. She struck a long match and lit a candle, a long white taper in a slender silver candlestick on top of her personal bookshelf. Her hand shook.

"We don't have to." Danny began. "Not yet. Not ever, if you, um…"

Juliane turned to face him. "I want to." Her eyes glistened. "But you'd…"

"Yeah." Danny closed his eyes against the memory of her when he found her, naked and nearly unconscious, a collection of bleeding wounds. The violence she'd suffered was unimaginable. If being intimate with her would cause her pain of any kind, he'd give up that kind of contact.

"They didn't rape me." Juliane fidgeted with the hem of her left sleeve. "If you thought…"

"No, I… I didn't know, I thought…"

"No."

"Some vamps do."

"I know. These were blood supremacists."

Danny nodded, an expression of relief on his face. Blood supremacist vampires believed that intercourse with humans was an abomination, and only fucked their own kind. They would no sooner lie with a human than the average human would fuck a cow. Humans were only for food, and amusement, like through torture.

She removed the hair band holding her black hair in a ponytail and shook it loose. "Um, would you?" She nodded toward the switch by the door. "Too much light." Her smile was apologetic.

Danny flipped the overhead light off. The room was bathed in the soft illumination of the candle, bright enough to see but gentle and forgiving.

He came to her. It was hard to say who was trembling more, him or her. He brought his mouth to hers softly, lifted his hands to her hair and stroked it.

His mouth was warm, lips strong and sure against hers. Her hands were pliant, open against his chest. He kissed her for a long time. Just kissed her. "I love you," he murmured. "I'm in love with you."

Her hands slipped around to hold him, gripping his back. She made a sound, half-laugh, half-sob.

"I've been in love with you for so long." He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, and her mouth again.

She did not say anything. He hadn't expected her to, but still, it stung.

She stepped back, tugged her sweater off, revealing her black bra and pale, scarred skin. Slowly, shyly, she removed every article of clothing, stripping away the fabric that hid her body, removing it all with her own hands, until she stood before him naked. She extended her hands at her sides, a gesture that combined shame at the scars lacing her body, and a fragile trust that he would not run screaming.

Danny stopped breathing. Juliane froze, fear lancing through her.

Danny's eyes took in the sight before him: her slender body, strong muscles under gentle curves, breasts heavy and full, nipples the same rosy pink as her lips, black hair spilling over her shoulders, pale skin intricately carved with silvery scars, the candlelight pulsing over her flesh, her blue eyes bright and clear.

"You're beautiful."

Her head jerked back in surprise.

"So beautiful." He took a step forward and reached out his hand. "Can I…"

She laughed this time, a sweet, joyous sound. "Yes."

She expected him to trace one of her scars, like she had done before, claiming it. He did not.

He put his hands on her shoulders and stroked her arms, then slipped his hands underneath, palms cradling her back. He kissed her, fully clothed against her nakedness, running his palms down the curve of her lower back, settling on her hips. Hands warm and strong, on her body.

Not her scars.

Her body.

She moaned, a shivery, surprised sound, into his mouth. She felt his response against her bare thigh, the way his cock leaped.

She laughed again.

He picked her up, mirroring how he had carried her, bleeding and barely conscious, to his car so long ago. He laid her down gently on the bed, and tugged his shirt off over his head, in a manner almost as shy as she had done.

She propped herself up on her elbows, gaze roaming over his arms, strong but not built in a gym, his chest and stomach muscled in the way a man who works hard for a living is made. "You've been holding out on me."

It was his turn to laugh. The tension dissipated. "All you had to do was say strip."

"And you'd have done it? Just like that?"

His mouth curved into a smile. "Just like that."

"You'd just do what I tell you," she teased.

"Try me." His voice dropped lower.

"Ok. Kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am." He lay alongside her and kissed her, thoroughly and well, until her trembling was due to something else other than nervousness.

"You're really good at that."

The glint in his eye made her shiver, promising without words that he was good at more than just kissing.

"Take your clothes off?" Her voice went up at the end, softening the command he'd invited her to make into a request.

Danny stood and unbuckled his belt, dropping it to the floor. He tugged off his socks, stripped off his pants, and hooked his thumbs in the band of his underwear. Here, he hesitated, color high in his cheeks.

She reached out, put her hand on his wrist. Reassuring him.

He pulled his underwear off. She blinked rapidly a few times, swallowing hard, and blew out a breath. "Whoo. I, uh. Wow."

Danny blushed, rubbing the back of his head. His pleased discomfiture put her even more at ease.

"Come here." She reached out her hand for him. He sank down onto the bed next to her, stretching out on his side. They kissed, more urgently. His hands moved over her body, stroking her, caressing her with a strong touch. Something about it made her shiver, loosened something inside her so deeply moored she didn't know what it was, how to name it.

He kissed her. Touched her. Hands slipping along the curve of her waist, rising up to her breasts, thumbs brushing her nipples softly, stroking her stomach, her thighs, her face. Touching her.

Not her scars.

Her.

He touched her like he knew full well the scars were there, but they mattered no more than the tiny blond hairs on her forearms. He didn't linger on them, deliberately touching each one as if to forgive it for being there.

He touched her like she was whole.

A sob broke from her, tears spilling from her eyes. Instantly, his arms were around her, pulling her into his chest. "We can stop. You want to stop."

"No," she choked out. "God no. It's just…"

She didn't have to finish. He understood.

He held her, petting her hair, until the strong emotion eased. She tipped her head up and sought his mouth, hands roaming over the hard curves of his shoulders, down the strong cords of his back.

He kissed her neck, the hollow of her throat. She arched back, letting him.

His mouth drifted lower, eyes on hers, seeking permission. She guided his head gently with her hands, bringing it to her right nipple. At the first touch of his mouth, she gasped. He sealed his mouth over it, sucking gently, flicking it with his tongue, and she cried out. He sighed, a sound of pleasure and relief. He lavished her other nipple with attention, then mouthed at the side of her ribcage, down to her hip, tongue trailing along, ghosting over her skin, making her shiver.

He shifted position, settling between her legs. He brushed his mouth over her navel. Eyes on hers. Asking permission.

She spread her thighs for him. Saying yes.

At the first scent of her, he moaned, hands gripping the blankets. He brushed his mouth over her, exhaling, letting the warmth of his breath move over her. She tipped her hips up, offering herself to him. He stroked her thighs, opened his mouth, let his tongue tease her outer lips.

"Oh god."

He mouthed at her, teeth biting oh-so-gently. He licked at the skin of her inner thighs, traced his tongue over her labia, feeling her swell beneath his touch.

"More."

Granted permission, he delved deeper, teasing inside her folds, moaning at the first taste of her. She ran her fingers through his hair and arched her back. "Please. More."

He spread her open with his thumbs, exposing her clit, hard and ready. He blew a puff of warm air over it, then rubbed it slowly with one thumb, back and forth, achingly slow.

She cried out, opened her legs wider. He kept at it, teasing her with his thumb, marveling at her reaction to him.

Finally, he stroked her with his tongue, lapping at her in broad, flat strokes, light at first, then stronger. Using her sounds as a guide, the way she moved beneath him, he mapped her, learned what she liked.

He sealed his mouth around her and sucked, stroking her clit with his tongue. She thrashed her head on the bed, thighs shaking. "Danny…" she whispered.

The sound of his name on her lips, laden with so much pleasure, made him have to stop for a moment, press his cheek against her inner thigh, and fight back tears. He regained his composure and resumed what he was doing, fine-tuning the speed and pressure until she was nearly incoherent, uttering "Ah…ah…ah…" over and over.

He brought his hand up, circled a fingertip at her center, experimentally. She arched her back and pushed down, taking his finger inside her.

Granted permission, he worked one finger inside her, licking her clit, circling it, then sealing his mouth over it and sucking again, working his tongue slow and steady. Then he slid a second finger inside her.

"Oh god. Danny." Her upper back curled, shoulders rising off the bed, and then she collapsed back down, stomach muscles fluttering. He worked his fingers inside her faster, sucking at her, lapping at her, until her cries took on new urgency, back arching, muscles fluttering around his fingers, clenching and spasming as she came.

When the keen pleasure of it had sparked through her and faded, she threw her head back and laughed, glorious peals of laughter rocking her. She tugged Danny up, kissed him, not shying away from the taste of herself on his lips.

"Guess I did ok?"

"God, I love you." She laughed again, then quieted as she saw the expression that flashed across his face: hopeful then guarded, the barrier snapping down.

"I do." She touched his cheek. "Love you."

"You don't have to say it just because I said it."

She sat up, and pressed her hand over his heart. "I love you."

The barrier shivered, evaporated. The look that replaced the guarded expression on his face was that of a man who could not believe his good fortune. "You do?"

She traced her finger down his chest, following the path of dark hair that led down his stomach. "Yes."

Danny pulled her down, guided her so she was straddling him, kissed her again, deep and passionate. She positioned herself and sank down on him, taking just the first few inches.

"Jesus, you're big," she whispered.

"Go slow."

Almost rebelliously, she rose up and sank down again, taking him deeper with a shudder and a groan, then again, taking him deeper still. He threw his head back, muscles of his throat working, hands on the curve of her ass, urging her on.

She rose and fell, sliding along his shaft, then shifted, snapping her hips forward, getting delicious friction on her clit. She moaned, falling forward to bring her mouth to his once more.

He lay back and let her control everything, grunting, moaning, whispering her name. She spread her thighs wider, impaling herself on him, stretched so tight around him. She brought his hands to her breasts, arching her back and bracing herself with her hands on the bed by his knees, waggling her hips up and down, riding him. She straightened up, drawing her hair up to the nape of her neck with both hands, rose up and sank down on him slowly, so slowly he groaned. She did this again and again. Finally, she circled her hips, grinding on him, breath coming fast and shallow. He allowed himself to thrust his hips upward, penetrating her more deeply.

"Oh god you're going to make me come again." She leaned forward, holding herself up, and rode his cock like her life depended on it.

He wrapped his arms around her and held on for dear life, grunting with each snap and roll of her hips. He laughed, like the joy and pleasure of it was too much to be expressed any other way, then cried out, stilled, his body shivering like he'd touched a live current.

"Oh my god." She rocked her hips forward, grabbing his shoulders, the feel of him pulsing inside her, the sound of him coming for her, sending her skittering over the edge of the cliff again, coming hard, clenching tight around him. "Danny. Danny. Danny…"

They held onto each other like two climbers trapped on Everest, clinging tight until the storm subsided.

Danny finally stirred. Juliane refused to be moved, not wanting to let go of the feeling of him being inside her yet. He chuckled, and lay still, kissing her neck.

Suddenly, Juliane sat up, her hand flying to her mouth.

"What?" Instantly, Danny was on the alert, eyes scanning the room for danger, hands moving to her back to protect her.

"We didn't use protection." She had an expression of horror on her face. "I just jumped you and…oh god." Guilt wrenched her features.

His mouth fell open. "Oops."

She pulled off him and sat down hard on the bed next to him. "I'm clean. I know I'm clean. In the hospital, they did all those tests when they did the other ones. And I haven't been with anyone since…you know I haven't…I mean, I haven't even left the property…" She was babbling.

He took her hand. "It's ok. I'm clean too."

She stared at him like he'd just said something in Chinese.

"I used to get tested regularly, and I haven't— " He stopped, color rising in his cheeks, like he was about to admit something embarrassing. "I haven't been with anyone since the attack happened."

Her mouth hung open. "What?"

He looked away. "I was so busy at first. Taking care of you. No time to hook up with anyone. And then…"

"What?"

"Then I didn't want to." He sat up, moving back on the bed until he was leaning against the wall. He kept his eyes down, afraid to look at her.

She put her hand on his calf. "You never said. Until Sam and Dean got here, you never even hinted."

"I knew I didn't have a chance. Didn't matter. Just being around you was enough."

Juliane curled up against his chest and pulled his right arm around her, drawing her legs up. They sat like that for a long moment in silence, breathing in unison.

"That's not the only thing we have to worry about."

Danny stroked her hair with his left hand. "If that happens? Whatever you want to do about it. It's your choice."

Juliane nodded, cheek against his chest hair.

"But…"

She looked up. His grey eyes were fixed on her, serious and earnest.

"If you wanted a child, I'd be…" He stopped, swallowed hard. "We could..."

Her eyes went wide. "You…want to have a baby with me?"

"I'm not—that's not—I'm not pushing for that— but…"

"But you want to have a baby with me." She looked absolutely astonished.

He took her hand, took a deep breath, squeezed her fingers, and plunged forward. "I want to love you and be with you every day, and fall asleep with you and wake up with you, and take you outside so the sun shines on your face again, and keep you safe and make you barbeque and dance with you, and marry you and have babies with you and grow old with you and die with you." He took another deep breath. "That's what I want. For the record."

She stared at Danny, trying to formulate words.

"Say something." Danny's hand shook, almost imperceptibly.

"Yes."

His eyebrows jumped up. "Yes? To…what?"

"All of it." She kissed the back of his hand.

His head fell back against the wall with a dull thump. "I'm sleeping, right? Asleep? Dreaming?"

She ran her fingers through his hair, then dropped her right hand down to his nipple and pinched it lightly.

"Hey!"

"Guess you're not dreaming."

He smacked her hand away, gently, teasingly. "See if you like it." He reached for her.

"See if I do," she retorted.

He pinched her nipple. She bit her lip, and made a soft sound of pleasure. A smile spread across his face. "I'll be damned…"

~

Sam didn't speak as they walked out of the hospital room. Dean held his hand, and Sam clung to it like he was grateful for the contact, but he said nothing. Reggie hung back, letting them have a little privacy.

They got to the parking lot. Reggie said, "Why don't you two get in the back?" Dean mouthed "Thank you" to him, and got into the back with Sam.

Sam curled up on the seat and put his head in Dean's lap. Dean played with Sam's hair the entire ride back.

Sam said nothing. Just held onto Dean's leg, sighing softly with pleasure as Dean stroked his hair, braided and unbraided it, and lightly scratched Sam's scalp with his fingernails.

Sam sat up as they neared the motel. They drove over the salt bump. The demon guarding the entrance gave Sam an ironic salute. Sam's mouth tightened.

Dean noticed.

They called the common room to be let in. It took longer than normal for Danny to arrive, disheveled and out of breath like he'd been running. "Sorry. Come on in." He walked them down the hall. The hair at the back of his head was tangled into a wild sex knot. It took superhuman strength, but Dean resisted bellowing with laughter.

Danny walked with them into the common room. Juliane was nowhere to be found, and the door to her bedroom was shut. He turned to face them. "So, how'd it go?"

"Knife trick didn't work. But we got some good intel." Reggie's expression was perfectly placid.

Danny nodded. "Good."

Dean held up his finger. "You got a—" He touched the back of his head. "Right there."

Danny touched the back of his head, and promptly turned red. Dean winked and slapped him on the shoulder. "Good for you guys. That's awesome."

Sam beamed at Danny despite the exhaustion evident on his face, in his the descending line of his slumped shoulders.

Danny eyed Sam more closely. He was pale, with dark circles under his eyes. "You ok?"

"Tired."

"You two get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

Sam surprised Danny by wrapping him in a hug. "Tell her I'm happy for you two. Ok?"

"Sure. And thank you. We…I… this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you guys."

"Yeah it would've."

Sam gave Dean a sidelong glance.

"In about ten years."

Danny laughed. "No joke."

Dean took Sam's hand. "Alright. Sleep. See you tomorrow."

"Good night," Danny said.

"Good night," Sam and Reggie replied in unison.

As he walked away, Danny tried unsuccessfully to smooth the sex knot down.

~

They moved into the hallway that contained the apartments. "You up for this right now, Sammy?" Dean scrutinized Sam's face. "You look beat."

"Now's good." Sam stood up straight.

They knocked on the door. John answered. Bobby nodded to them from the recliner. They came in. John didn't even quibble about their ages, he just set the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table in front of them and brought over three clean tumblers.

"You don't mind if we drink in front of you?"

"I'm a hunter, Dean. If I can't stay sober with an open bottle of whiskey in front of me, I might as well give up and go be a mechanic."

Reggie and Dean took turns telling Bobby and John everything that had happened, sipping on whiskey. Sam just sat, listening, saying nothing.

Finally, John spoke up. "You're awful quiet, Sam."

"Tired." Sam blinked. He looked drained, pushed to the limit, but to Dean, he didn't look sleepy. Just…something.

"How do you feel?"

Sam looked down at the carpet. "I've got demon blood in me. How do you think I feel?" His voice was quiet, but it still bore the snap and sting of a whip.

John came over to the couch, and everyone moved over so he could sit down next to Sam. "Hey, monkey."

Sam looked up in surprise. John hadn't called him that in a very long time. It was his favorite term of endearment for Sam when he was a little boy. John would hold his arm up and make a muscle, and Sam would grab onto his arm and dangle from it like a monkey.

"It's going to be ok. I promise."

Sam gave a sigh of such weariness, it made John's heart ache.

"We have a plan. A good plan. Get that corruption out of your blood, get you fixed up—" Sam flinched at the word corruption—"and now we've got a line on getting that famous Colt I've heard so much about." John ruffled Sam's hair. "We'll get the demon blood out of you and kill the sonofabitch that put it there. That's a promise."

Sam looked into the face of his father, saw the earnestness there, saw how sincerely he meant it, and remembered all the other promises. I'll be home for Christmas, boys. I swear. I'll be back in time for your baseball game. Just another couple of weeks and we'll get a real house. Wouldn't miss your play for the world. Next year, Sam, you can have a puppy.

And the worst, and most common: I won't be gone long this time, I promise.

"Sure, Dad," Sam said, like he'd said a thousand times before. "Ok."

"Sam needs to crash, Dad." Dean interrupted, keeping a careful eye on Sam's energy level and emotional reserves.

"Yeah. Ok." Everyone stood.

Sam went to Bobby and gave him a long hug. "Thank you," he whispered.

"What for?" Bobby looked baffled.

"Everything. And…you know." Sam hugged him again. "I love you."

"Love you too, you little squirt."

Then Sam gave Reggie a hug.

"This your way of saying thanks?" Reggie smiled down at Sam.

"I love you too," Sam whispered.

Reggie patted Sam's shoulder. "Don't worry too much, Sam. You can get through this."

Sam looked at the carpet. "I'm scared," he whispered.

"I would be too."

Sam raised his head? "You? You're so brave."

Reggie ran his fingers through his long grey hair. "Hell, I'm scared all the time. You think being brave means you're not scared?"

Sam nodded.

"Let me impart some wisdom to you," Reggie drawled, the corner of his mouth going up. "Being brave is being scared but doing what you gotta do anyway."

Sam breathed in and out a few times, letting that sink into his bones. He nodded, but didn't look comforted.

Sam then went to John. This hug was longer, and closer.

"It must have been real hard, raising us by yourself."

John's head jerked back in surprise. He blinked back tears at the unexpected kindness his youngest son was showing him.

"I should have done a lot better."

"You did the best you could," Sam said, face buried in his father's chest, breathing in the scent of Old Spice and musk.

"Love you, son."

"Love you, dad."

John straightened Sam's hair. "You get him to bed and make sure he stays there, ok?" John looked over Sam's shoulder at Dean.

"Will do." Dean's face was perfectly deadpan.

John hugged Dean, thumping him on the upper back. "Night."

"Night, Dad."

~

Sam and Dean left and went to their room. They were careful not to touch each other until they were safely inside the apartment with the deadbolt shut.

Then Sam put his arms around Dean and rested his head against Dean's shoulder. Dean nuzzled at him until he raised his head. Dean kissed him, turning him and pressing his back against the wall, claiming him.

Sam broke the kiss to catch his breath. "You didn't like it. When I kissed him."

Dean's nostrils flared and he gave an abrupt shake of his head. "No."

"It was just for the sake of the contract."

"For you, it was. Not for him."

"Did you want me not to seal the deal?"

"'Course not. But…he played you. Just a little. He got something he wanted. Real bad."

"If that's all he wanted in exchange, we got off easy."

Dean blew out a breath, remembering all the stories of demon deals with much higher stakes than just a little kiss. "I know. I just didn't like it."

Sam smiled. "I know it's totally wrong, but I kind of like it when you're jealous."

Dean relaxed visibly at the sign of levity.

Sam looked at his hands and frowned. "I feel gross. I need to take a shower."

"Sure. We can do that."

Sam hesitated.

"What?"

"Do you mind…just this once…if I do it by myself?"

Dean blinked, stunned. "Yeah. Sure, Sammy. Knock yourself out."

"I just… I'm never alone, you know? Either of us."

"Didn't know that was a problem." Dean tried not to let the hurt show on his face.

Sam smiled, eyes going soft and puppy dog. "It's not. Just, every now and again, we could use a few moments by ourselves." He pressed his forehead to Dean's. "You're everything to me. You know that."

Dean took a deep breath, held it for a count of four, letting all his fear and insecurity fill his lungs, and let it all out, drifting away into nothing. "I know. I do."

"So let me rinse the yuck off."

"I'll make us something to eat."

Sam smiled weakly. "There you go."

"Quesadillas and chocolate milk."

Sam sighed. "That sounds really good."

"Ok. You go get clean."

Dean had already turned away toward the kitchen, and did not see Sam flinch at his choice of words.

Dean melted butter in the huge skillet, tipping the pan to coat the bottom, grated a fat heap of cheddar onto a cutting board, set two giant flour tortillas in the pan, folded in half, holding the top halves in his left hand as he loaded the tortilla on the right with cheese. Just cheddar, the way Sam liked it. He folded the top of the tortilla over itself, and put cheese into the other one.

As the quesadillas cooked, the scent of browning butter rich and nutty in the air, he cracked open a jar of salsa to dip his quesadilla into, and stirred chocolate powder into two pint glasses filled with milk. He stuck a straw in each one, red one for him, blue one for Sam, and set them on the table, along with the jar of salsa. He flipped the quesadillas over, the undersides now crisp and browned in a lacy pattern. "Sam? Food's almost done."

No answer. Just steam billowing from the bathroom door, which was ajar.

"Sammy?" Dean turned the heat off and moved the pan to a cold burner, covering it with a lid. He pushed the bathroom door open and stuck his head inside.

He couldn't see at first because of all the steam. When it cleared, he saw Sam, huddled on the floor of the shower, clutching something in his hand. "Sam!"

Dean opened the shower door and stuck his hand inside, grabbing Sam's shoulder. He snatched it back with a hiss of pain, as the hot water hit his skin. He smacked the faucet off with the palm of his hand, and sank to his knees.

Sam crouched on the floor, scrubbing his forearm with a washcloth. Every inch of skin was bright red from the scalding hot water, and from his vigorous scrubbing.

Dean closed his eyes, not needing Sam to tell him what he was trying to do. Sam rubbed at the back of his hand. "Not clean," he muttered. "Not clean." Dean climbed into the shower with Sam and sat down. He took Sam's hand in his, gently pulled the washcloth from his fingers, and stroked his hand with it, with infinite tenderness. "There you go. All clean. See?" He brushed the cloth over Sam's forearm. "All clean."

Sam raised his head, hair dripping in his face, and looked at Dean. Dean ran the washcloth up Sam's arm, across his neck, and smoothed it across Sam's face. Sam closed his eyes and relaxed, letting Dean do it. He let Dean help him to his feet, touch him everywhere with the cloth, cool now, whispering, "You're clean, Sammy. All clean now." His breathing, ragged and agonized, calmed, settling into a normal pattern.

He let Dean bring him out of the shower, dry him off, lead him into the bedroom and dress him in clean dry clothes. He changed into dry clothes as well. "Come on, Sam. Let's eat."

The quesadillas were still hot. Sam took a bite without seeming to taste it, then another. Finally his eyes snapped open. The third bite, he seemed to really taste. He took a long sip of chocolate milk, and made the kind of sound he usually only made during sex.

"Good?"

"Yeah." Sam blinked, coming back to himself. "Thanks, Dean."

"Any time."

They both ate, Dean tearing off strips of quesadilla and dunking it into salsa.

Sam had finished his chocolate milk before Dean was a quarter of the way through his food. Dean slid his glass over to Sam, and went to make another one for himself.

When the plates were clean and the glasses were empty, Sam looked up at Dean, embarrassment clear on his face. "I guess I freaked out back there."

"I can't blame you. Me, I'd be running around screaming like a chicken with its head cut off."

"If its head is cut off, how could it scream?"

Dean shook his head. "Always busting my balls."

"You make it too easy."

Dean put the dishes in the sink and wiped his hands on a dish towel. "Come to bed?"

Sam nodded, blinking wearily. He let Dean take his hand and guide him into the bedroom.

Dean stood there, hesitant. "We can just sleep. You're exhausted."

Sam blinked slowly, hazel eyes following Dean's every move. "I'm not that tired."

Dean exhaled audibly, relieved.

Sam moved closer and twined his arms around his brother's neck. "Dean. Put your hands on me. Make me feel clean."

Comments

[masja-17.livejournal.com]

"Go get clean" wasn't the smartest thing of Dean to say.....

Awesome chapter, once again!

(And this got me thinking of *points to icon*)

<3

[justinedelarge.livejournal.com]

:) Thank you!

And poor Dean. He didn't think. It's just something you say. You know?

[rianadrarrylove.livejournal.com]

Aw man. First off, I really am surprised at how much I'm enjoying Juliane and Danny's arc and story- not because they're a het couple, but because I'm so focused on wincest when I read that i sometimes forget to care about side characters, you know? But that was lovely... I totally started crying in the middle of my break at work.

I feel so bad for Rosier and Gus right now, though. They're stuck in love and afraid and alienated and it's weird to be sympathizing with a demon so hard when all the demons in this story have been so vicious but wow!!

Excellent chapter- your chapters are becoming more and more thought-provoking and I find myself wandering into my head midway through work going 'I wonder about the knives...' or 'I wonder what Sam would think if John did this instead...' and I really like that about this story, so thank you!

[justinedelarge.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm so glad to hear all of this.

I love writing this story so much. I'm going to cry when it's done.

[rianadrarrylove.livejournal.com]

I have a reasonable assumption that 100% of the people who read this will cry when it's over.

[leighannwallace.livejournal.com]

Lovely chapter.

[justinedelarge.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[deansdirtybb.livejournal.com]

Oh, I just love Juliane and Danny so much! I am so happy for them - I swear I think of them as real people. (You are too good at building characters!) Plus, I was kinda excited to see you do a het sex scene, which was every bit as hot and tender and awesome as the wincest stuff, btw. Danny's "proposal" had me all happy-teary, and I was so happy for them both getting a little action with their beautiful love.

And poor Sammy! I wanna reach in and hug him...but then again Dean is doing a much better job comforting him than anyone else ever could.

[justinedelarge.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked the het scene. If I am to have any hope of making actual money with my original novels, I will have to have some het scenes in them. And thank you for what you said about my original characters. I worry that when I strike out on my own, my books will lose a lot of the appeal of this one because it doesn't have Sam and Dean in it.

And yes, Sammy needs a hug. Especially now.

[deansdirtybb.livejournal.com]

I absolutely believe in your talent and ability. Your original novels are going to be great and I can't wait to read them (although, not gonna lie, I will miss getting so much of your writing in fanfic).

Can I send you a little hug too? Cuz it sounds like maybe you need just a small one for encouragement.

[justinedelarge.livejournal.com]

Aw. You're so good to me! It's just... you know, 50 Shades made that woman over 10 million and counting. And it's terrible, in 50 ways. But of course, it was based off a hugely popular heterosexual couple, and that sells much better than gay romance/sex. I don't want 10 million. I don't even DREAM of 10 million. But I do dream of making as much per year at my writing as say, maybe a high school teacher. And before you put the original novel out there, those dreams are possibilities, but once you do, you find out for sure. And that's terrifying.

[deansdirtybb.livejournal.com]

It takes a special courage to step off that cliff and reach for your dream, but fly or fall, you win just for trying.

You already have a fan base...and we're loyal and vocal. I just know your novel is going to be an amazing read and that's what people look for.

[imaginecoolname.livejournal.com]

Aww, I'm so happy for Danny and Juliane! As I think I mentioned before, they really grew on me, so the het scene was really touching to me, even though I usually only read slash. But I'm so glad they've finally found each other and Danny's proposal was beautiful.

Poor Sammy, though, this all hits him so hard. Thankfully he has Dean to make it all better for him. I'm sure their love will save him in the end. Though I really don't want to think about the end of this fantastic story, I want it to go on forever!

Thank you for yet another wonderful chapter.

Thank you!

[justinedelarge.livejournal.com]

I'd write it forever if I could. But the book needs to end, so that I can start writing my original book in earnest. That one I can sell. It it does well, I can write more Wincest for free, and another book, and maybe I can do this for a living. And that would make me very happy.

[gabbz007.livejournal.com]

"He touched her like she was whole"


The best line of the whole chapter. I have no idea why but that stuck with me severely. Julianne and Danny are so terribly beautiful. Its amazing how if you just let someone in what a difference they can make on your life.

You capture the dynamic of "Janny" (ship name??? =D) so well. You seem to capture everything so. fucking. well.

!!

[justinedelarge.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for pointing out that line. I love it so much, and it meant so much to me when I wrote that chapter. I'm so happy that it stuck out to you too. Yes, it is amazing what a difference a person can make if you let them in.